Entries Tagged 'Lesson' ↓

Learn to stop when you’ve said enough.

…the most powerful lessons come from our own triumphs and errors.

Being wrong can be deadly as in the case of a sky-diver not knowing how to fold a parachute. It’s important to understand the risks of what you are doing and whether they could be serious. The mistakes I’m referring to here aren’t the serious type. They are the choices we make everyday. Accumulated over years these seemingly trivial choices become significant in their impact on your life.

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Is there only one “right” answer to this question? Perhaps for some people there is—you chocolate fiends know who you are—but for most of us the choice depends on multiple factors. Many questions in life are like this one. They don’t have only one right answer.

Compulsory education in America trains children to look for one right answer. The approach makes their job easier. It works with their testing systems. It helps them justify their existence. Nonetheless, it doesn’t work for children when they become adults. So what should we do about it?

Like many questions we face as adults, there isn’t only one right answer. Focusing on teaching using the only one solution approach isn’t right. I offer these alternative approaches, one or more of which may be the right answer for you and your children:

• When you teach problem solving, make determining the likelihood of there being only one right answer a step in the process
• Be aware of problems your child encounters that have multiple right answers, point them out, and help them learn ways to choose
• Encourage your child to look for other right answers when it appears there is only one

I’m not suggesting you say, “Yes, that’s right!” to plainly incorrect answers like some people do. I’m recommending you foster the multiple right answer perspective because it increases creativity and open-mindedness. It also informs children that there are at least thirty-one right answers to the question, “What flavor ice cream would you like?”

The price you paid for an item, be it a house or a compact disc, has nothing to do with its worth to someone else. Many garage sale proprietors, people trying to sell their decade-old “collectables,” and some people trying to sell a house in a buyer’s market frequently make this mistake. These people haven’t learned about sunk cost. They bought an item in demand and now they are in denial about its worth. Their asking price is too high so they can’t sell. They cling desperately to the idea that everyone else is crazy or stupid for passing up a great opportunity, never questioning their own rationality.When you’re selling something forget what you paid for it. It doesn’t matter to anyone, but you! What matters is the price the market will bear and what the item is worth to you. Be glad if the warm fuzzies you feel possessing a pristinely preserved Pokemon® card is worth more to you than the penny my son would give you for it; The market works.

Toddlers seem to intuit opportunity cost. My son Logan and I were playing with his new GeoTrax last night when I told him it was time to take a bath. Do you think he liked the idea? Heck no! He seemed to understand that the best use of his time was playing with his train. Since opportunity cost is the cost of something in terms of an opportunity foregone, for my son the opportunity cost of the bath was the playtime he wouldn’t enjoy. The opportunity cost of playing with his GeoTrax was one missed bath. His choice suggests he was selecting the most rational option, but perhaps we’re missing something. Continue reading →

Regardless of whether you want your child to grow up to work for others or them self, Guy Kawasaki’s list of Ten Things to Learn This School Year describes what schools teach that either doesn’t work as taught or isn’t best done that way.

…knowing of these mistakes…has been a material contributor to my happiness…

The problems plaguing ancient people apparently aren’t all that different from those we still face. More than 2000 years ago the Roman orator Cicero (106 BCE to 43 BCE) listed the following six mistakes of man:

1. The delusion that individual advancement is made by crushing others
2. The tendency to worry about things that cannot be changed
3. Insisting that a thing is impossible because we cannot accomplish it
4. Refusing to set aside trivial preferences
5. Neglecting development and refinement of mind and not acquiring the habit of reading and study
6. Attempting to compel others to believe and live as we do

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Dave Cheong has just written his list of 15 Tips to Cope with a Demanding Life. Dave’s a new parent and has discovered as we all have, that life gets even more demanding (and rewardning) when children enter our lives. His list is spot on and worth a look even if only as a refresher. Look at it with an eye toward lessons you can learn as well as lessons for your child.

…enhance your life by reducing stress and improving decision making.

Your life is the result of actions taken in a series of present moments. What you do in the current moment is what matters. The past is gone and cannot be changed. As I covered in Being Wrong, you should spend enough time thinking about the past to learn from errors, but dwelling there, like obsessing over the future, is a waste of present moments. Additionally, when you perseverate over the past or future you are likely to beat yourself up or succumb to fear. Avoid this mental self-abuse by cultivating the ability to bring yourself back to the present moment where your choices and actions have meaning.

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